Mothering (and Fathering)

On Sunday we had a first in the PICU. The charge nurse, Janice, pulled me to the side, squared up, looked in my eyes and said, "You need to let him chill today. Don't stimulate him. Just let him rest." And, because I truly believe each of us on Team Finn supports him in different ways, I listened.

In short, she told me to leave him alone. Stop touching him. Don't sing to him. Maybe he shouldn't even hear your voice. Wow. That was a blow. I wasn't ready for that dose of "reality."

The day before Janice had connected with us by talking about her daughter who spent 10 weeks in the NICU. So, when Janice pulled me aside on Sunday I knew she wasn't just speaking to me as a nurse. She was speaking to me as a mother. Those of you who've endured a NICU/PICU experience in the past probably aren't surprised by this conversation. A parent's touch (voice, presence) is instinctively the most natural way to soothe a child. Janice asked us to set our instincts to the side.

But, damn. I wasn't ready for that. She shook my confidence.

I'm not sure how Kyle took the instruction from Janice, but it hasn't seemed to shake his confidence.

This morning, as I said goodbye to our night nurse she said, "Tell your husband thank you. He was amazing through the night. He knew exactly what Finn needed and how to comfort him." So, as soon as Kyle comes back from the sleep room I will tell him "thank you."  

P.S. The coffee I'm drinking right now tastes like plastic. It's time to get some coffee from the outside. Maybe after morning rounds . . .