Keep Running

According to Robert Burns, even "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men/ often go awry," and today, Finn has reminded us of this. As Jen mentioned in yesterday's blog post, the doctors had a plan: today would be another ERT (Extubation Readiness Test) and they'd continue lowering the ventilator's levels while weaning him from the medicines easing his pain. However, just like Burns says, even the best laid plans often go awry. Today, Finn reminded us of this.

As an outsider who sits by the phone (or sometimes the computer) awaiting updates, this process has been difficult, yet I can't imagine what the battle is like on the front lines. Yet, as I keep trying to remind myself, we must all be patient. While plans are a often a good thing--they help us remain focused on our goals. They provide us with direction. And often times, they provide us with a sense of peace because we can see the destination ahead. Yet, as said, Finn told us that the plan that was in place wasn't the best plan for him, and now, the doctors are reassessing and changing course. This is a moment where our patience is especially important.

Because sometimes, this happens. We change direction. This might deter the focus a bit. It might create a hiccup in the timeline we had been planning to execute. It might give us reason to feel frustrated, disappointed, even angry. Yet, the destination still remains, and we will not allow those negative emotions to hinder the progress that has been made or that remains on the horizon.

For we know that Finn is a warrior. And warriors remain undaunted. 

As I am finding out secondhand, the process of withdraw that Finn is battling is excruciating and heartbreaking to watch. As many of you with children can imagine, it is quite possibly the most painful thing a parent can sit by and watch. The helplessness being nearly as heartbreaking as the visible pain the child endures. Unfortunately, this process is one that Finn must move past, no matter how undesirable the circumstances may be. Finn must safely process and eliminate the sedation drugs from his body before he attempts another ERT. Finn's infant body can only manage one battle at a time, and the lowering the levels of the ventilator to attempt another ERT will be a challenge enough. When Finn has conquered one battle, he'll move onto the next.

Despite these challenges, we (Finn's team) embrace the positives. Here are today's from Jen:
- Katie, today's nurse, was strong Midwest stock. She grew up in South Dakota, went to school at the University of Minnesota, and used to work at the University of Iowa's PICU. Finn's local team all laughed about the Iowa/Iowa State rivalry. All agreed that the Cyhawk trophy may make its home in Ames for most competitions, but it belongs in Iowa City when it comes to the PICU Cyhawk award...
- Katie continued on to say, "I'm a gopher, and I hate Wisconsin!"(I'm certain she done pissed off Grandpa Jacke with that comment...but then again, he probably would have already claimed that she was "his love," so it was likely a wash in the end.)
- Jen got to see Everett today. She picked him up from school, played games, and snuggled.
- The attending was pleased with Finn's level of alertness.

Jen listed one of her positives as "One day here is one day closer to recovery. One day closer to going home." And this is most certainly a positive. While the days are long, each moment testing the strength and resilience of those on Finn's team, we must find ourselves clinging to the hope and faith that this battle is progressing, even if we don't agree with its pace. We must comfort ourselves in the belief that the route the battle takes, albeit filled with challenges and obstacles, is the route that leads to the ultimate destination we are all praying for--Finn's full recovery and homecoming. As a runner, I very much know that the race does not always go to the most swift, but rather, sometimes, it goes to the one who keeps running. Finn is still running.

Despite the difficulties of today's battle, despite the changes in plans, despite the shift in direction, Finn runs. And he runs his own race, at his pace, the pace that his lungs will allow.

Tonight, we continue to pray that Finn takes deep breaths full of rich, nourishing air.

Tonight, we pray that Finn feels comfort and peace as his body works alongside the miracle of medicine to beat this illness.

But most of all, tonight we believe in #FinnStrong. Tonight we know that #LoveWins.